Getting Mean about Eating 'Clean'

Pardon me for being rude, but who the heck gave anyone permission to judge our food? I once ate chocolate, chips and cake with guiltless glee But now it seems everyone is lactose averse and gluten free Gone are the days when food could be of pure pleasure Now its simply about how much you can skip, skimp, weigh and measure From Calories, Carbs, Protein and our long term friend fat Several worshipped idols proclaim how to eat this but not that Then theres 100 Calorie snacks, meal replacement shakes and bars stuffed with not much other than dates. You may think I’m nuts, but they’re not to everyone’s tastes. And all of those antioxidant green powders I’ve bought to eliminate toxins Popping vit

There was Once Upon a Time... The Fairytale before the Eating Disorder.

There was Once upon a Time, and there will be Another Time. There once was a time where I could allow myself to be happy and nourish myself well without a second thought or a tinge of remorse. A Time when I actively sought out ways to nurture myself rather than seek ways to restrict, punish, regiment, control, count, and self-sabotage. As I spend time weighing out my plain porridge oats and almond milk, I think fondly of a time when I didn’t worry about control and how what I place in my mouth will influence subsequent feelings of guilt, negative self-comparison and dwindling self worth. Instead of the sad bowl of oaty gloop staring back at me, there were once school mornings spent preparing

You Look 'Well'! : A poem of frustration to appearing 'ok' when recovering from an e

“Don’t you look well!” That it would seem. A gleaming picture of health and wellbeing But thats news to me, its not what I feel What you see is a mask of what I conceal. I feel low life, disgusting, worthless, impure. The infection inside is too viciously cruel to ever be cured. You’ve seen me smile and flaunt a so called ‘healthy body’. For you that symbolises success But you’ve not witnessed the untouchable scars, that are nothing less than a chaotic mess Just because I eat, and I work, and I play, Doesn't mean all my demons have been vanquished away. You view my exterior as a marker of how and who I appear. Less aware of my hollow interior and the depths of everything I fear. Can you not

EATING DISORDER RECOVERY BLOG