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Farewell old Body, Hello Life.

eating disorder recovery

I have dwelled in a body, so small it could break,

Mind numbingly cold, perhaps not awake?

Lost in a bubble, the passing world but a blur

Seemingly safe, and yet fickle, without connection or care.

Hiding in the darkness of starvation,

so the world might perceive,

this woman who feels unprepared to grow up,

So scared so naive...

Of a world that feels unforgiving and viciously cruel

While unaccepted, alone, unknown, appearing a fool.

Building baracades within the diminishing shell that grows hollow within,

No emotion, no laughter, only guilt and the drive to be thin.

Not out of vanity or attention, but for pursuit of self worth

To return to a purpose, where one is reclaimed by the earth.

Starving the body and soul is not out of choice or for fun

But it stops one from ending it now, to stay out of reach from the gun.

To starve somehow can feel as natural as the sky appears blue,

Escaping the reality that there's nobody there ... its just you...

But that is the age old illusion that keeps us all within chains,

We aren't really alone, trapped with our brains.

We may have lived life feeling separate,

with adult responsibility feeling a burden, a con!

Feeling detached and abandoned,

Anything but as one.

But this illusion, when broken, is what makes reclaiming our own lives a worthy enough cause,

To realise we are all vital components in a world full of beauty,

Our body without flaws.

To know WE aren't just a weight, or a shape in world that appears scarce,

But instead something intimately connected to an energetically abundant universe.

It may not be seen, or understood from our current stance,

But when we break the illusion of separateness,

Life is a divinely guided dance...

There is no real need to swim in the rivers of guilt,

Or climb the unreachable mountains of perfection,

Unconditional love is already within and around you...

It IS your reflection.

To the universe, there is no valid need to fit in or travel a path of expectation

Life is a journey, and it's arrived at your station.

If you could see the divine beauty that already exists within you, and everything you see, hear and feel,

Perhaps you would know that your life has a purpose, and self love can be real.

And even though the body changes as we begin to replenish and heal what has been scarred and ruthlessly starved

We can tread newfound footsteps in the world that we uniquely help carve.

The hollow shell that we hid inside must be cracked, to re-emerge and set ourselves free.

Reborn as worthy of love, with our heart as the key.

So even when in times when you feel 'not enough' and there is temptation to sink back into 'that hole'....

Know that starvation or thinness never made anyone whole.

What makes you worthy can't be seen on a mirror or assessed on a scale.

You are already imperfectly perfect.

you can't ever fail.

Say farewell to the body and scars that symbolised distress and pain

It is now your time to thrive,

The divine love within you is there to reclaim.

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