Farewell old Body, Hello Life.

eating disorder recovery

I have dwelled in a body, so small it could break,

Mind numbingly cold, perhaps not awake?

Lost in a bubble, the passing world but a blur

Seemingly safe, and yet fickle, without connection or care.

Hiding in the darkness of starvation,

so the world might perceive,

this woman who feels unprepared to grow up,

So scared so naive...

Of a world that feels unforgiving and viciously cruel

While unaccepted, alone, unknown, appearing a fool.

Building baracades within the diminishing shell that grows hollow within,

No emotion, no laughter, only guilt and the drive to be thin.

Not out of vanity or attention, but for pursuit of self worth

To return to a purpose, where one is reclaimed by the earth.

Starving the body and soul is not out of choice or for fun

But it stops one from ending it now, to stay out of reach from the gun.

To starve somehow can feel as natural as the sky appears blue,

Escaping the reality that there's nobody there ... its just you...

But that is the age old illusion that keeps us all within chains,

We aren't really alone, trapped with our brains.

We may have lived life feeling separate,

with adult responsibility feeling a burden, a con!

Feeling detached and abandoned,